I wrote this reflection three years ago during an important season of growth in my life. As I read it now, I see how far I’ve come,  and how necessary this chapter was. I’m sharing it today because someone may still be standing at the station of Hope, wondering if change is possible.

“Hot mess express.”
I heard this phrase the other day, referring to a small business owner — and my thoughts went much further than that.

I want to assure you of this: there is always hope to hop off the Hot Mess Express in your life.

I tell my story because I know it brings hope.

I first boarded the Hot Mess Express sometime in my teen years. It all started with a thought — and thoughts like to hang out with the bully in our heads. Those two convinced me I wasn’t worth it. That success was for other people. That I couldn’t do it.

And for a long time, I believed them.

One day, my Hot Mess Express broke down and coasted into a station called Hope. I loved the name of that station. It sounded like a place I wanted to be.

It was there that the Master came and asked if I would like to get on a different train. Of course I did. I was given a ticket to ride the Hope Train while my old train was being repaired.

I rode the Hope Train for four years — and those years changed everything.

One day, that train stopped at another station: Gratitude. At the Gratitude station, I unloaded the tools I had gathered during my time on the Hope Train and began the work of fixing my old Hot Mess Express.

Here’s what I’ve learned: when you’re ready to surrender your life and trust God’s guidance, provision shows up — often in ways you don’t expect.

On one of my hardest days, He sent my sister with a little pink drink that supported my physical and mental health. He sent my dear friend Wilma to mentor and guide me. And He gave me a spirit of gratitude — the ability to see beauty and goodness even while things were still messy.

When I reached the station of Gratitude, I realized something important: I couldn’t abandon the old train. I had to rebuild it.

If your Hot Mess Express looks anything like mine did — filled with self-shaming, self-sabotage, doubt, yo-yo dieting, anger, or feeling uncommitted and ungrateful — you can rebuild right here, next to me.

When I returned to that old train, I got to work.

I locked the bully voice away in the farthest corner and began paying attention to my thoughts. I washed the train with love and grace. I placed a dot on the map, acknowledging exactly where I was — without shame.

Then I started the engine.

I loaded all the tools I had gathered on the Hope Train, and the Hot Mess Express was given a new name:

Inspired Journey.

Today, my hope is that this inspires you to step onto the train of Hope — right where you are.

You are worth it.
You are loved.
You can do it.

Right here, right now, meet yourself with love and grace — and name five things you’re grateful for.

With love,
Karen